I Know How the Safety works
by lesbianshipsaye
Summary: Andrea does not die when the governor attacks her. Instead he rapes her and leaves her passed out in the torture hut thingy. The gang finds her and takes her back to the prison. ** This story picks up after she is rescued and being driven to the prison. **
1. Chapter 1

I'm dead. Well I must be. Everything faded to black and now all I see is a bright light. That's what's supposed to happen when you are dead, therefore I must be dead. It really is my fault. I had the chance to kill him but I just didn't want anyone to die. How ironic, I didn't want anyone to die but in the end the one who dies is me.

"Andrea!"

I guess I'm not dead.

"She opened her eyes!"

I know that voice. Michonne. I'm safe. I'm safe. The concept seems so foreign: safe.

..

His weight crushes me. I stare at the ground. I will not let him break me, well at least not have the satisfaction of knowing he has done so. I will stare at the ground. The ground is something I can focus on. Something that is not him.

I know what he is doing.

"Philp, I know you are trying to scare me. I am not scared. I am not scared of you." I say sounded a lot stronger than I feel.

"Don't worry sweet heart, you will be."

I give him a look of defiance that is meant with a slap.

"Enough messing around, let's get to it."

..

"Andrea please stay awake!"

Listen to her voice, I tell myself. Stay here. I am here. I am safe. He doesn't have me anymore.

..

He stands up. I grin and chuckle to myself. I knew he wasn't going to hurt me. Then it hits me. All at once like a rock. He is going to hurt me. I watch him step back. He was not leaving, as I had originally thought. I watch him first unbuckle his belt, then take off his pants. I know what is coming. But I look him straight in the eye anyway.

I will not let him break me, well at least not have the satisfaction of knowing he has done so. I feel him get on top of me again. This time I fight. I kick him back off of me and he falls to the floor. This leads him to go and garb his knife. He points it at me and I stay as still as a rock, which is easy considering the fact that I am handcuffed in place.

He moves closer again.

"Get the fuck away from me," I sound cold and emotionless.

"I told you, you would be scared." He looks at me with that sadistic grin.

By now he is back on top of me. Without thinking, I spit in his face, "I am not scared."

He simply wipes the spit off his face and barks "Don't lie to me."

He breaks the eye contact and starts what he came here to do.

..

"No! NO! Philp stop! Please!"

"Andrea!" Rick. It's Rick. I think it's Rick.

"Shut up bitch,'' I still feel him, smell him, hear him.

"Please don't do this," I cry. "Please anything but this." My voice crackles and sounds as weak as I feel.

It's bright again. I see figures all around me. Slowly they focus. Michonne. Rick. Carl. Carol. Maggie. I see them. I'm safe.


	2. Chapter 2

"DO NOT TOUCH ME!" I scream but I sound weak and horse.

I feel his touch on my arm. This unwanted grasp sends shivers down my spine. I squirm in an attempt to free myself. However I am unsuccessful, I can feel his large rough hands move down my body.

I squeeze my eyes shut and continue to fight. I will not let him win. I cannot let him break me.

"Andrea," he softly moans.

..

"Andrea," the voice is soft and faint.

With all the force I can muster I slap his hand away. Only when I open my eyes it is not him. Hershel is standing in front of me with a stunned look on his face.

"Andrea, it's okay. You are safe now. The governor is not here, you don't need to be afraid."

I look over at him not entirely sure if this is real or if I am imagining it.

"You had a massive cut on your upper arm. I stitched it up, you should be fine."

Still not entirely sure if I am dreaming I answer Hershel, "How long?"

"We picked you up yesterday. You were coming in and out of consciousness until I gave you some pain pills. You lost a lot of blood, for a while there I thought we would lose you."

This is real. It has to be. This cannot be a dream. I don't even remember the last time I had a dream, a real dream. Nightmares plague my mind every time I rest. I think I am actually safe.

Hershel learns out the room and shouts "She is awake!"

First I see Michonne. Michonne. I wait for her to yell and tell me I got what I deserved. She was right I should have left with her. This is my fault, a result of my own stupidity.

However she walks in slowly I swear I can see tears in her eyes. She moves as quickly as a sloth over to my side. She sighs and picks up my hand holding it in her own.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" I ask suddenly bursting out in tears. She cares. She still cares.

"You almost died. I should have never left you there alone," she whispers the water building up in her eyes.

"There is nothing you could have done. It was my fault. I should have left with you. I am so sorry for ever doubting you."

"No. It is not your fault. Never think that."

That was the only thing Michonne said. She silently sat next to me cradling my arm, resting her head right beside me. We sat together still and comfortable until morning. The morning arrives slowly but surely. I have not slept this good since before Woodberry.

..

"Can we trust her?"

"Are you kidding me? Have you seen her? She looks horrible! We found her naked bleeding to death in the governor's torture chamber, for god sakes!"

Tears fall down my cheeks as I over hear this morning's conversation, obviously not meant for my ears. They all speak in a harsh whisper, discussing my nightmares as if I am not in the room. There are so many voices coming from all around. I cannot tell them apart.

"It could be a set up! The governor wants us to trust her, so she can tell him what is going on here!"

"Do not even talk like that! Do you not see that woman right next to us? Did you not hear her scream every time her eyes closed? Did you not hear her relive her nightmares? How can you stand here and tell me that, all of that was fake. She is in pain and needs out help. We are her friends, family, we cannot turn our backs on her now!"

Weak. They see me as weak. I guess I am. I couldn't fight off the governor, I let him do all those horrible things to me. They know it. My friends all see it now. I can hear it in their voices. I have never felt more ashamed of myself.


	3. Chapter 3

"You actually bought that? She is dating the damn governor!" The voice was louder than all the others. That one was Rick. I'm sure of it.

I cannot let them talk about me. I am literally feet away. I roll over on my other side to face an empty prison cell. As I land on my arm, I hiss in pain and instantly cover my mouth. I don't want them to know I am listening, not yet anyway.

I look over at the shadows on the other side of my curtain. No one seems to have noticed. With a sigh of relief I turn my attention back to my injury.

..

"I am not lying. I am not scared. You cannot scare me, especially not with that dull thing."

I will not give in. I will fight him until the end.

He does not say anything just gives me an evil glare. Without warning, he grabs my arm in his hand and slices it open with the knife.

I let out a little squeal I couldn't suppress. I guess the knife wasn't so dull after all.

..

The cut looks bad, and is lined with quite a few stitches. I recover it up with the bandage. I cannot believe my own stupidity. Why would I be so stupid? Seriously, it is common sense don't be rude to the guy with the knife pointed at you.

I push my thoughts from my mind. Back to the task at hand.

I hear them whisper again. This time they seem quitter. I can't make out a word of what they are saying. I need to get closer. I hold onto the top of my bunk for support. Slowly I reach out and pull myself up.

I stand for a second getting used to the feeling. I slowly take a deep breath in. My legs are shaking just standing here. Releasing the air I take a small step forward. Very gently moving my weight to my left foot in front of me. However I cannot find my balance. Almost as soon as I attempted to take the step I was on the ground.

"Shit," I mumble under my breath.

All of the figures from the opposite side of the curtain come running inside.

"Andrea! Are you okay?" Michonne yells rushing to my side.

"What the hell happened in here?" I hear from someone else, I think Daryl.

"I'm fine," my words sound more aggressive than I intended.

Michonne reaches out to help me get up.

Pushing her helping hand away I say, "No! I can do it. I don't need help."

I can do this. All I have to do is move one foot in to bed. But the truth is I cannot do it. I am to weak.

Michonne watches me in silence. The look on her face is the saddest thing I have ever seen. I didn't want to upset her.

It's just… I can do this. I have to. If I can't even stand myself then he has won. I won't let him take that from me.

I push myself up, not able to get steady I fall right back down. Frustration growing inside a tear starts to fall down my check.

I hate this. I hate how I do this. Now I look even weaker in front of all these people. I can't be weak, well at least I can't let other know that I am.

Michonne comes back to my side, saying nothing. She helps me to sit on the edge of the bed. This time I don't protest.

AN:: Thank you so much for reading! I love all of your comments!


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